Abundant and Generous Lord,
I thank you for my life and the whole universe. This incredible mass of stars, space and life are outgrowths of Your creative love.
Lord, I am distracted again. I think this may be because of the coffee. For a few days in a row, since I've switched back to coffee, I've struggled with prayer. Lord, help me to remember that. Help me to factor that into my prayer preparation from now on. Coffee is much cheaper and produces much less waste tan Red Bull does. Therefore, I prefer to drink it to Red Bull. But it hits my bloodstream much faster, and makes me more distracted and distractable. The idea coming to mind is to drink just 1/3 of the cup of moka pot coffee, then set it aside until after prayer.
Give thanks to God for particular people who reveal God's loving presence to you. Consider: Who has helped me get to this point in my faith journey?
Lord, in ways big and small I've been helped along the way. Two people come to mind most immediately, and they are my wife and my SD. My wife is fiercely loyal, and shows love through all of her actions. For most of our marriage, I didn't see her actions that way. And indeed, I think there are ill impulses in there (i.e. an anxious need to be good enough), but she also wants to have a clean home, and well stocked refrigerator because she loves the family. She is taking care of my and our child out of the impulse of love You've implanted in her.
Also, my SD. She is explicitly leading me down a road to greater awareness and understanding of Your love for me, and also my love for You. My soul longs for You, which is something I didn't understand until not long ago. It's something which has already come in very practically handy. Understanding that even impulses to temptation and sin are disordered forms of impulses of longing for You is a fortifying and grace-filled awareness.
There are others, some wittingly and some unwittingly contributing to my faith journey as well. Lord, I thank you for these people whom you are using as conduits of Your love.
What were the significant interior movements? What was the prevailing mood of my prayer?
When I see the heavens, the work of your fingers
the moon and the stars which you arranged,
what is man that you should keep him in mind...
Ps 8:4-5a
That particular passage evokes in me a sense of humility and gratitude. It's yet another passage which reveals not that we are inherently awesome creations. Not like starts, mountains, roar rivers thousands of miles long. But rather we are awesomely loved above other things, and thus have a dignity which supersedes the awesomeness of those things which are inherently awesome. It invokes in me a sense of the poverty talked about in the first Beatitude. Happy are the poor in spirit... It reminds me that I didn't need to exist, and in fact only exist, along with every other thing in the universe, out of pure love. I, we, am/are infinitesimally small, yet infinitely important above other things. It's also an exhilarating feeling. Kind of like stepping out into space in the middle of a nebula and knowing that I'm safe because God is holding me. Kind of an odd image, but in ways nebulae and people are related. Their dust and energy are the same. They are both awesome. Nebulae are massive, expansive and creative on a macro scale. Humans are tiny, and capable of mindful cooperation in the infinitely creative act of God's love.
Was my prayer more about the head or the heart, or about both?
I did this prayer over the course of three days. I didn't have the time to knock it out in a single shot. And I feel like it evolved over the days. Although if I were to put numbers on the average of the three experiences, I'd say it was 80% heart, and 20% head. The head part is happening right now because I'm trying to put my heart experience into words. But, the mood and visions I mentioned in response to the previous questions are where my prayer spent most of their time.
Is there unfinished business God is calling me to return to during another prayer time?
I don't think so.
Is there something happening in my life that is becoming part of my prayer? Do I feel moved to do something concrete in my life?
Yes. I feel inclined to preach this love and wonder of our creation. I feel called to contribute to Your creative plan in a way that draws people toward a personal relationship with You, Lord. I feel like having a personal relationship and awareness of Your specific love for people is where I'm supposed to be spending at least some of my time.
Am I making the necessary preparations for my prayer?
I'm doing mostly good, but the coffee thing I mentioned above needs to be remedied. And getting on a better schedule so I can get more sleep and get up earlier is another thing I need to work on.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.